Sample of our "Diaper Baskets and Center Pieces" for Mother to be...

Baby  Basket Center Pieces:  Shades Within You

Baby in a Wagon

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Rock-A-By-Baby



For all the new Mum, Mom, Mothers to Be...... New designs and photos by "Shades Within You" Baby Shower Favors Enjoy

Favors by Shades Within You

 And Baby makes three

Baby in the Oven

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I don't tell stories I take pictures.

Photo taking by T. Singleton  from Shades Within You

Photo T. Singleton

Why is everyone looking at me

Can you guess what I am

Black and White affair with a touch of yellow to add color

It's a black and white affair with a touch of yellow for color

Just some of my images created by T. Singleton from Shades Within You

This was taking at the South Street Seaport in NY

Looking outside

This is a image from 3000 thousand ft in the air 

Snow a look from my lens

Just look up and see what you can find

With Love (Shade Within Your) TM

Enjoy

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love of art, animals, sky

Open end photos "Love of Water and Sky"

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Afrocentric Traditions

Designed by Shades Within You LLC (Ms. Lyndell Cook) Wedding 2007


1. Knocking on the Door
Since marriage in African culture is considered the official joining of two families, a large emphasis is placed on getting family permissions and blessings before the wedding. In Ghana, the groom requests permission through the custom of "knocking on the door." Bearing gifts, he visits his potential in-laws accompanied by his own family. If his "knock" is accepted, the families celebrate and wedding planning begins. Or, simply plan an outing (like a brunch or dinner date) to bring both families together before the wedding and begin forming family bonds.


2. Jumping the Broom
This tradition most likely originated with an African ritual in which a broom is used to demonstrate that all past problems have been swept away. During slave days, African-Americans were forbidden to marry and live together, so jumping over a broom was a formal and public declaration of the couple's commitment. Today, it has become very popular for African-American couples to follow suit at the conclusion of their wedding ceremony. The broom, often handmade and beautifully decorated, can be displayed in the couple's home after the wedding. Check with local cultural institutions for broom makers and suppliers.


3. Crossing Sticks
In a lesser-known tradition that also dates back to the slavery era, African-American couples demonstrated their commitment by crossing tall wooden sticks. By crossing the sticks, which represent the power and life force within trees, the couple expresses a wish for a strong and grounded beginning. If you decide to incorporate this tradition, choose large branches from both of your families' homes or from a place meaningful to you as a couple.


4. Libation Ceremony
Many African-American couples incorporate a libation ceremony into their weddings as a way to honor their African ancestors. Holy water, or alcohol, is poured onto the ground in each of the cardinal directions as prayers are recited to the ancestral spirits, and names of those that have recently passed are called out. The libation ceremony can also be used as an opportunity to honor the elders in a family, asking them to pass on their wisdom and guidance.


5. Tying the Knot
In some African tribes, the bride and groom have their wrists tied together with cloth or braided grass to represent their marriage. To symbolize your own unity, have your officiant or a close friend tie your wrists together with a piece of kente cloth or a strand of cowrie shells (symbols of fertility and prosperity), while affirming your commitment.


6. Tasting the Four Elements
In a ritual adapted from a Yoruba tradition, the bride and groom taste four flavors that represent different emotions within a relationship. The four flavors typically used are sour (lemon), bitter (vinegar), hot (cayenne), and sweet (honey). By tasting each of the flavors, the couple symbolically demonstrates that they will be able to get through the hard times in life, and, in the end, enjoy the sweetness of marriage.


7. Kola Nuts
Kola nuts play an important role in African weddings. The nut, which is used for medicinal purposes in Africa, represents the couple's (and their families') willingness to always help heal each other. In Nigeria, the ceremony is not complete until a kola nut is shared between the couple and their parents. Among African Muslims the nut is also a symbol of fertility, and is exchanged with family members during the engagement celebration. Many African-American couples incorporate the sharing of a kola nut into their ceremonies, and then keep the nut in their home afterwards as a reminder to always work at healing any problems they encounter.

Bachelorette Parties: A Planning Checklist

Maid of honor, are you ready to rock? Whether you're mellowing out or whooping it up, here's a checklist to help you and the maids prepare for this infamous night. Feel free to adjust the timeframes according to your celebration style.


3+ Months Before


Ask the bride what she wants (or doesn't want) in terms of bachelorette bashing. Will it be a night of terror on the town, complete with Jell-O shots, a scavenger hunt, and gyrating dancers? A quiet weekend getaway? Martinis at a mod cocktail lounge? A living room lingerie exchange? Pizza and pool at a local dive? Karaoke? Casino?

Establish her comfort levels. If she wants G-rated instead of G-string, review your options together. If she does want to walk on the wild side? Get her to define exactly what that means. Remember, while you want her to cut loose, you don't want to mortally embarrass her, or worse, totally freak her out.

Set the date -- shoot for a weekend night about one to two weeks before the wedding. (If members of the bridal party are from all over and can only convene a few days before, that timing works, too.)

Create the guest list.


2 Months Before


Send out a casual "save the date" email to see if there are any major conflicts among invitees. If you're partying far away, include specific details.

Brainstorm possible game plans and party stunts with the maids (make it a surprise for the bride).

If the party will be at a hot spot or out of town (the only Chippendale's club in town, a popular tapas bar, a cabaret theater, South Beach, a rock concert, someone's beach house...), make reservations, order tickets, and deal with lodging and transportation details.

No matter what the format, alcohol and bachelorette revelry usually go hand in hand. Be responsible. Start thinking about transportation arrangements -- many ladies opt for booking a chauffeured limo, bus, or van for the evening. Call around to compare rates.

Research and book any talent that might make an appearance at the soiree.


1 Month Before


Send invitations. Emailing and calling is okay, too. Make sure your invitation politely informs guests that a contribution to the festivities will be expected and name the price.

If you're going with the standard pub crawl, devise the itinerary. Start out with dinner at a rowdy restaurant (you don't want to drink on an empty stomach) and map out all the establishments you want to hit plus what time you'll be popping in. Planning it out this way will help you book your transportation for the proper length of time, and it limits the carousing so that you don't overdo it or spend too much cash. Make all necessary reservations, even at bars. Ask about drink specials and bachelorette freebies.

Make your transportation reservation(s). Do it earlier if you live in a metropolitan area, are partying during prom season, or in the summer, when the number of pre-wedding parties tends to peak.

If you're partying at home, help the hostess plan refreshments and activities. Make a shopping list. Divide up to-dos among bridesmaids: games, decorations, booze-buying, stereo and/or karaoke set-up, CD duty, etc.


1 Week Before


Buy fake penis paraphernalia, bachelorette accessories such as the novelty veil or tiara, bite-me candy necklaces, and other naughty props.

Make a list of the games you want to play, with rules and how-tos, lest you forget after too many margaritas. Keep it handy.

If you're having a scavenger hunt, conspire with your maids and make a list of the mischievous missions the bride will have to fulfill throughout the course of the evening. Keep that handy, too.

Confirm RSVPs.

Confirm transportation arrangements.

Confirm the at-home entertainment.


1 Day Before


Debrief the bride (it's okay to keep some of the details a surprise).

Remind guests of the meeting place and time, reiterating the address. If there are several stops planned, name the second address, too, for latecomers.

Re-confirm all reservations.

Get plenty of sleep.

Planning Basics: Dates to Avoid in 2008 and 2009

So you've just said "yes" and now the calendar is wide open! Kind of. Here are some dates that you might consider "wedding blackout" dates. Think twice before scheduling your wedding at these times.

Holiday Weekends
Holiday weekend wedding have pros and cons. You've got an extra day for the festivities (and recovery!), plus it's easier to host the affair on Sunday, which is often less expensive than Saturday events. However, costs of travel and hotels may be higher. Also, having your wedding on a holiday weekend might adversely affect your guest list. Some families have standing holiday weekend plans or traditions that they'd prefer not to have disrupted.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (always a Monday)
January 21, 2008
January 19, 2009

President's Day (always a Monday)
February 18, 2008
February 16, 2009

Memorial Day (always a Monday)
May 26, 2008
May 25, 2009

Independence Day
Friday, July 4, 2008
Saturday, July 4, 2009

Labor Day (always a Monday)
September 1, 2008
September 7, 2009

Columbus Day (always a Monday)
October 13, 2008
October 12, 2009

Thanksgiving (always a Thursday)
November 27, 2008
November 26, 2009

New Year's Eve
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 31, 2009


Religious Holidays
Be mindful of religious holidays (yours and your guests') when planning your wedding. There may even be restrictions at your house of worship as to whether you're allowed to marry at these times.

Palm Sunday
March 16, 2008
April 5, 2009

Easter Sunday
March 23, 2008
April 12, 2009

Passover (begins at sunset the night before)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Thursday, April 9, 2009

Rosh Hashanah
In 2008, begins at sunset on Monday, September 29, and lasts until nightfall on Wednesday, October 1
In 2009, begins at sunset on Saturday, September 19, and lasts until nightfall on Sunday, September 20

Yom Kippur (begins at sunset the night before)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Monday, September 28, 2009

Hanukkah (begins at sunset the night before)
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 12, 2009

Christmas
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 25, 2009

Kwanzaa
Begins Friday, December 26, 2008
Begins Saturday, December 26, 2009 through Friday, January 1, 2010


Costly Holidays
If you're looking to marry around Valentine's Day, be wary of your floral bill, especially if you've got your heart set on red roses -- they're likely to be more costly than at any other time of the year. Likewise, reception sites often charge a higher fee for a New Year's Eve wedding.


Notable Holidays
April Fool's Day
If you and your fiance are jokesters at heart, this could be the perfect wedding day for you. If not, choose another day.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Mother's Day
Make sure your mom is okay with sharing this weekend with your wedding -- but it could be the perfect opportunity to honor her. If you do choose it, at your day-after brunch make a toast to all the mothers in the room.
May 11, 2008
May 10, 2009

Father's Day
Ditto for dad.
June 15, 2008
June 21, 2009

Halloween
Avoid it if you're terrified that someone might actually show up in costume.
Friday, October, 31, 2008
Saturday, October 31, 2009

Days of Remembrance
Historically significant days may cause a conflict of interest for some guests.
September 11: Falls on a Thursday in 2008 and a Friday in 2009
December 7, Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day: In 2008 it's on a Sunday, and falls on a Monday in 2009

Super Bowl
If you don't live in Arizona or Tampa, and are marrying on the Saturday rather than the Sunday of Super Bowl weekend, then the big game shouldn't affect your wedding too much -- unless you and your hubby are diehard pigskin fans and can't bear to miss the big game for your honeymoon. If in doubt, steer clear of these dates:
Sunday, February 3, 2008, Glendale, AZ
Sunday, February 1, 2009, Tampa, FL

Final Four/March Madness
Everyone loves the excitement of college b-ball (and betting on it!). Keep your sports fans at bay by avoiding these dates:
Saturday, April 5 and Tuesday, April 7, 2008, San Antonio, TX
Saturday, April 4, 2009 and Monday, April 6, 2009, Detroit, MI

Quirky Dates
8/8/08: Although it lands on a Friday, numerological significance and the novelty of marrying on a date that occurs once in a lifetime make 8/8/08 an attractive wedding date. (Click here for more info on 8/8/08 weddings)
03/06/09 falls on a Friday
09/09/09 falls on a Wednesday


Other Dates to Avoid
College reunions and/or homecoming, big conventions in your city (call your local chamber of commerce), and any annual charity events that involve your family or close friends.

Wisdom to Live By

Images by Tassajo S.

Lombardi On Work

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Ghandi On Forgiveness

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.

Ford On Learning

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80.

Buddha On Focus

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Wonder On Talent

Ya gots to work with what you gots to work with.

Focus Your Time and Money
Work for the Love of It

Productivity is the science of creating the best with the most efficient effort. You do that when you're engaged in working at what you love. You're more productive every minute, and you don't put time limits on it because you're enjoying it so much - as opposed to procrastinating through work you don't enjoy.

So why not do what you love all the time?

1) Delegate Duties: If you eliminate the things you're not good at and focus on where your special talents lie, you can boost your income.

2) Find It. Go on a quest to find out what you love to do. Once you have the answer, the law of attraction - thinking about it and researching it - will lead you to how you can make money doing it.

3) Spell it out: Everybody knows if you write your goals down, you have a greater chance of achieving them.

4) Know your industry: Study the field you're interested in. Nurture curiosity by asking yourself where the industry is broken and how you can fix it.

Wisdom to Live By

Saroyan - On Character

The manner in which a man chooses to gamble indicates his character or lack of it.

Emerson - On Instinct

Trust instinct to the end, even though you can give no reason.

Olivier - On Action

Keep your eyes open and get on with it.

Lansing - On Knowing Your Audience

I like to stand in line, buy my popcorn and see a picture with the people.

On Ethics

There is no right way to do a wrong thing. (Unknown)

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